My son, sigh, he just breaks my heart some days. And today, was one of those days. I haven’t seen him much over the past week and a half. I had an interview, works withs and a crazy last week of work. And a few night meetings. Everything has gone well, including my interview, but it has impeded my time with him.
He always tells me he misses me when he’s with his mom, but it really must have shook him this time around. The last two days at daycare have been very emotional for him. He’s cried. He’s moped around. And he told the teachers its because he missed me.
I could grow angry at my ex for not filling me in on this. I could be mad she didn’t put him on the phone with me. But I didn’t.
Unfortunately, our situation will never change. I do have joint custody, but our time apart hurts. It kills me the way he’s felt over the past couple of days. Its made me feel guilty. Its made me like I have failed. But I still chose to enjoy my time with him this evening. We went shopping for a spring jacket, some new shoes and a few groceries.
He told me about Easter with his mom. And the new levels he’s clearing on his Super Mario game. But mostly, we were just goofing around, smiling and laughing.
We came home to the most awesome surprise too. My girl had snuck in while we were out and dropped off a huge bag of dinosaur toys. It elated him immediately and made for such a fun night. She’s so damn sweet.
I have another night meeting tomorrow, ugh. I held him for awhile after he fell asleep. Just staring at him.
It was great to be with him. Even if it was just for an evening, it was meaningful and comforting to us both. He’s a heartbreaker and he’s mine.